James Garrett: The Brain Behind Brain by Design

Tags

BrainByDesign, CCEU, Coaching, Habits, Happiness, ICF, Life-Spark, Productivity, Psychology, Training

Recently, I was listening to a webinar at Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation. Impressed by the content and presentation, I went to the presenter’s website and realized that he offered a full course. I was lacking a couple of CCEUs to support my International Coach Federation certification so I signed up for a piece of it.

When my two planned hours were taken, I did not want to leave the course! I thought:” Let me get through the first module – it’s pretty interesting!”. So I did. Soon it was over – then what’s next? I could have said “Thank you,” taken my certificate and left. How I found myself in the second module, and then the third, is now hard to say. I am an experienced coach, I had met my requirements, yet I was enjoying every moment.

I was talking to James later, shedding at him lots of compliments and questions.

A couple of days ago I realized that he is repeating the course on June 30 and offered him a chance to visit my blog.

James Garrett

So, today we have James Garrett who was glad to share his insights on human psychology. For over a decade, James has been studying and teaching the psychology of success, and unpacking the brain science behind what makes human beings thrive. As an entrepreneur, scientist, trainer, and coach, he is passionate about turning academic knowledge about the human brain into practical tools that anyone can use to change their life—and the world.

Here is my discussion with him:

Hi James! Can you please share your personal growth path? How did you get in this trouble? 🙂 

James and his brother Brennon at graduation

I fell in love with Psychology at Columbia University, but was always fascinated by human behavior — why we do what we do.  The deeper and more personal story, though, is that I struggled with OCD growing up and throughout my life.  So I was deeply interested in part because I thought there was something “wrong” with my brain.  This is partly why I fell in love with neuroplasticity, because it is the science of human change.  It gave me hope.

I thought there was something “wrong” with my brain.

In your course you have three sections. Tell us about them. 

That’s right, Janna. The course takes hundreds of the very best books on the science of habits, happiness, and productivity, and makes it easy to digest in videos and exercises.  In a six week period, you’ll cover all the most cutting edge neuroscience and behavioral science, but in a format that’s clear, easy to apply, and feels relevant to your life.  In a sense, I did all the reading so hopefully you won’t have to.

I did all the reading so hopefully you won’t have to.

The happiness portion of the course is an exploration of the science of positive psychology and the science of flourishing. This is where you’ll start to understand what role mindfulness plays in your wellness, how positive emotions can be utilized for creativity, and how to tap into flow states.

The happiness portion of the course is an exploration of the science of positive psychology.

Finally, the productivity portion of the course helps you design your work life (and personal life) to be distraction-proof.  We’re swimming in a sea of distractions and the best way to increase your ability to stay focused is to design for focus.

The productivity portion of the course helps you design your work life.

Is your course certified for Continuing Education?

About a third of each group who takes the course is doing it purely for personal growth reasons.

I’m currently working on getting the courses certified for other types of professional groups (e.g., health care workers, teachers, etc.).  Sometimes (but not always) professional development organizations will honor the continuing education credits from another certifying body like ICF.  So if you take the course, it’s worth getting the certificate at the end and asking your institution if it will accept the continuing education credits.

What should someone who goes through your course expect?

The course has a live portion and a pre-recorded portion.  There are 6 live sessions and 12 pre-recorded sessions.  For example, the first live session is on habits.  So in order to prepare for that live session, each student will watch the first and second pre-recorded sessions of the Habits by Design course and then come ready with questions about how they can deepen their learning, how to overcome an obstacle they’re facing, or how to help a client with a problem they’re having getting their exercise routine to stick. 

The live sessions are designed to be purely interactive and are an opportunity to discuss how to apply what the students are learning from the pre-recorded sessions in their real lives or the lives of their clients. 

The live sessions are designed to be purely interactive.

The last piece of the course is that if you are doing the course for continuing education credits, ICF requires you to fill out a brief 3-question reflection sheet for each of the pre-recorded sessions.  If you’re not going it for CCE credits, that piece is optional.

May I please, pretty please, have a discount to offer my readers?

Absolutely! I am happy to offer them a discount. This link will give your readers $100 off.

Thank you, James! That’s very generous! And how has COVID-19 affected how you are doing business?

Most of my business was online, even before COVID-19 hit, so it hasn’t affected my business as much as I thought it might.  Two resorts that I do weekly presentations at temporarily closed down, so some parts of my business have slowed.  But overall I feel really grateful because my courses have actually grown over the past few months — possibly because people have a little more time to catch up on their CCEs or do online E-learning while they’re quarantining at home.

Any specific advice for someone who is reading this article?

The advice I would give you is to take the neuroplasticity science seriously.  You have more dormant potential than you can possibly imagine — just waiting to be accessed.  You can learn how to unlock the power of your brain, but it takes a bit of training and understanding to help it work better. 

Take the neuroplasticity science seriously. 

I sometimes think of it like an airplane.  When we board a plane, we all turn right and go to our seats, right?  Imagine turning left and going to sit in the cockpit.  What do you see in front of you?  Dials, levers, gauges, buttons — things that don’t make much sense, unless you’re a trained pilot.  The only difference between you and a pilot is that the pilot has been trained for how to operate the machine. 

And what, James, is the best part of your job? 

I love watching people transform as they understand more about how their brain works and how to get it to work better.  It inspires me to watch people master the skill set of habits and then apply that to forming better exercise habits, better eating habits, better sleeping habits, better meditation habits, better empathy and listening habits.  As I watch their relationships with themselves and their loved ones improve, this is why I do what I do. 

I love watching people transform.

Confidence soaring!

I also love to watch people’s confidence soar as they feel like they’re not at the mercy of their emotions or negative thought patterns.  People genuinely start to figure out how to manage their minds in a way that is empowering and creates an upward spiral of positive change in their lives.  It’s incredible to watch!

Do you still do coaching yourself?

Yes, Janna! I do still do coaching myself, and am actively accepting clients at this time.  

Anything personal you want to share?

The best part of my life is definitely my 6-year old Sophia and my 4-month old Aeon!

• 

• 

Left: James and Aeon. Right: James, his wife Shaylyn, Aeon and Sophia.

What I’ve been trying to do through something called the Deep Change Project is really live the science in my own personal life.  Since my passion is getting science out of the labs and into people’s lives, I knew I wanted to get out from behind the science and experiment with applying it in various areas of my life.  In a sense, I’m doing a big experiment on myself to see how much I can change.  This year, I’m focusing on overcoming fear.

Deep Change Project

Thank you, James, for your visit! Where can people can find more information on your training?

They can find all the information on my website.  Or if they just want to go straight to the information about the courses, they can go here.

My Social Media posts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-garrett-82b45a24/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=brain+by+design

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brainbydesign/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/james.garrett.123276

Twitter: https://twitter.com/_BrainByDesign

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brainbydesign/?hl=en

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I Can Hear You Now!

Tags

Conflict Resolution, ICF, ICF Core Competences, ICFCoreCompetences, jannayeshanova, Leadership Training, LeadershipTraining, Leo Buscaglia, LeoBuscaglia, Listen, listening Skills, ListeningSkills, Negotiations, Relationships, Training

Recently, I presented training at the International Coach Federation Columbus Charter Chapter. Interactive and dynamic training is always a blast!  It was a reminder of how we should listen to invite better communication in our lives.

Keep in mind LISTENING is a skill – not an inherent ability. Good listening means fewer family divorces, better relationships with coworkers, clients, friends, neighbors and everybody around us.

At the end of our session I shared a poem of Leo Buscaglia that really impressed me. I decided to share it with you here. I hope you like it too.

When I ask you to listen to me, and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.

And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business
of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn –

and I will listen to you.

 

Janna Yeshanova, MA, MEd, PCC – http://www.life-spark.com

 

 

Tommy McClure – Putting the Pieces Together

Tags

Columbus, fashion, Film, FWC17, life, Work

Thomas McClure

Over the past 12 years, Tommy McClure has created opportunities for himself and others in Columbus at the intersection of fashion, film, and design. I’ve asked him to let us peek behind the curtain to see how various disciplines integrate to reinforce each other. Since arriving in Columbus in 2005, he has been Director and Partner of the Heyman Talent Agency, Founder and Executive Director of Fashion Week Columbus, Executive Director of the Columbus Film Commission, and, most recently, Director of Business Development for OneKreate. I met him in his role with the Film Commission, but I was intrigued because of all the other places he has shown up.

I understand your time at the Columbus Film Commission was a turnaround exercise. How has the Commission changed through and since your leadership?

As their executive director, I was tasked with reactivating the non-profit organization. It was badly needed, as Cleveland and Cincinnati were getting all the Ohio films due to them being active and available for local and visiting film productions. Reactivating Film Columbus included: obtaining city funding, creating a working new website, restructuring and reforming the board of directors, developing programs focused on local filmmakers, rebranding the organization, developing PR opportunities, and making sure the phones and emails were answered when film productions would contact the office. This was a lot to accomplish within a three year time period, and it was all accomplished.

Films like Aftermath (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Wrath (John Travolta), and Bad Grandpa (Johnny Knoxville) most likely wouldn’t have filmed here, if we didn’t have an active Columbus Film Commission available and ready to take their calls. The film commission serves as a central resource for local and visiting productions while also promoting Central Ohio as a filming destination.

John Travolta’s film “I Am Wrath” included filming at the Ohio State House

What attracts these projects here, Tommy?

Some films chose Ohio, most likely for the Ohio Film Tax Incentive. This is an important factor for productions choosing cities to work in. Columbus may have been chosen due to the ease of transportation, central location to the rental houses, central location to the union crew pulled from Cincinnati and Cleveland, and of course because Columbus is such a diverse city. However, having a Film Commission in place for visiting productions to utilize is also important. The Film Commission can help guide productions when it comes to location scouting, crew, and other resources. Funny story, the film Parker came to Columbus because they needed to film during a state fair and Columbus was their choice as it was hard to find other state fairs in the US during that production time.

From an outside perspective, your various projects seem like something to launch on the East or West Coast. How did you end up building your vision in heart-of-America Columbus?

It all started at the Heyman Talent Agency, where I was able to quickly figure out the inner workings of both the modeling industry and filming industry through booking talent for various local and national projects. I soon realized how much Columbus needed a Fashion Week and started putting all the pieces together.

You recently finished Fashion Week Columbus 2017. I understand that’s about more than clothes and runways. How is the community benefitting from this series of events?

Yes. Fashion Week Columbus is about much more than the clothes and the Runway Shows. Fashion Week Columbus is a non-profit organization that’s helping local fashion

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designers and fashion design students through developing programs and providing scholarships. We consider our Finale Runway Show a program, as it serves the purpose of spotlighting local fashion designers and connects them with buyers and the press. Throughout Fashion Week, we also partner with other non-profit organizations to help bring awareness to their mission and to help them raise funds through the way of a fashion event/program. Fashion Week Columbus is one of few non-profit fashion weeks in the nation.

8th ANNUAL FINALE RUNWAY SHOW at Brewmasters Gate, Columbus OH

Karina Nova Board Member WBNS-10TV – Host of the event

Scott Schweitzer President Strategy Group Media with two other guests

Thomas McClure Founder/Exec Director Fashion Week Columbus and Janna Yeshanova

A few of the 800+ guests who attended the event

Take us through what a typical day looks like for you.

There is no typical day! Ha! But, since I’ve joined OneKreate (full-service production studio specializing in photography, videos, and design) as their Director of Business Development, my days are much more consistent. I’m basically working two full-time jobs (Fashion Week Columbus and OneKreate), so I must keep everything organized and be flexible with meetings even if it’s a weekend meeting request. I do try to hold the rule I set for myself several years ago: no meetings on Mondays. Sometimes my days are full of meetings and other days I’m endlessly answering emails. On some days you could catch me meeting with a client needing photography or video from OneKreate or a sponsor interested in being part of Fashion Week Columbus. This past Sunday, I emceed a sold-out fashion event gala (not an FWC event) showcasing and honoring local fashion designers and models. Yesterday, I was moving FWC’s items from a 3rd-floor storage unit to a 1st-floor storage unit. I get my hands dirty too!

What are you planning to do in your latest role as Director of Business Development at OneKreate?

I joined OneKreate in May of 2017 as their Director of Business Development, focusing on developing relationships with new clients while also engaging with the Columbus community through partnerships. OneKreate is part of the largest network of creative studios in the world. It’s my goal to elevate OneKreate in Central Ohio as a premier creative studio, working with both large and small clients.

As a content creation studio, OneKreate and Fashion Week Columbus’s partnership was a perfect marriage. Fashion Week Columbus utilizes a lot of imagery and video to platform the mission and to showcase our designers. OneKreate was excited to be the content creation partner with Fashion Week Columbus because of the heart put into the organization and the programs/events. The day of the FWC17 Look Book shoot was one of those magical days spent in OneKreate’s 25K square foot studio space.

Models, designers, hair professionals, makeup professionals, stylists, creative directors, and photographers all came together to produce the 2017 Fashion Week Columbus Look Book. The hustle and bustle in the studio created an unexplainable energy that drives a project like this from conception to the final product. The FWC17 Look Book is the best Look Book we’ve produced yet, and much of the success is because of OneKreate’s amazing team.

Fashion Week Columbus was lucky to have OneKreate on board as a creative partner for all photo, video, and design needs. The level of talent and expertise at OneKreate can be seen in the FWC17 Look Book and the FWC17 Designer Interview Videos and Finale Show opening video.

I understand that the Runway event is a fundraiser. What did do with the proceeds

Fashion Week Columbus is actually a program, as it serves our local and student fashion designers. Much of the funds go towards creating professional productions to showcase our designers. We have many in-kind partners which help us save dollars. This year, we gave a $5000 scholarship check to a CCAD student, which will greatly help her with her Senior Collection.

Natalia Monserrate (CCAD Fashion Design Student) was awarded the Easton Fashion Week Columbus 2017 Scholarship presented by Sprite (amount of $5000) on the runway with Shannon Hardin (City Councilmember), Karina Nova (10TV), Scott Schweitzer (FWC Board President), and Thomas McClure (FWC Founder/Exec Director). 

What can we be watching for from you in the near future?

In 2018, the FWC board and I are developing a new organization, the “Columbus Fashion Council”. FWC will fall under this new organization as a program. Also, FWC17 Fashion Designer Gerardo Encinas and I will be taking over the Columbus Creative Industry Mixer for 2018, bringing this event back to its roots.

What do you think you’ll be doing in five years? Do you have a vision for the community?

Honestly, I have no clue. Planning this far ahead restricts organic creativity and innovation. Maybe I’m a rebel like that. Ha! However, I do hope to see Columbus play a much more spotlighted role in the fashion world. We have all the right ingredients to make this happen. And Fashion Week Columbus (or the Columbus Fashion Council) will most definitely play a large role.

Do you have any thoughts to take your projects beyond Central Ohio?

Sometimes. We shall see what happens.

How do you select projects and businesses to participate in? Some people have a detailed plan. Others follow their nose. Which are you?

My gut. Seriously, I’m well in tune with my spirit…my gut. Trust it.

As a Director and Producer, what is the biggest part of your job? What do you like and dislike most?

The biggest part of my job is project management. All committee chairs report to me as the Executive Director. They’re empowered to run their own committees and make decisions for the betterment of the organization. Keep in mind though, the committee chairs and members are all volunteers. At the end of the day, I have to put my stamp of approval on major decisions or offer solutions/suggestions. There are a lot of moving pieces that must all stay in sync for FWC to be successful.

Do you have any tips on balancing or managing projects?

Surround yourself with those that can do what you can’t do.

Surround yourself with those that can do what you can’t do.

Are there specific personality characteristics that contribute to your success in these roles?

Passion, Positive Attitude, Confidence, Ability to Manage, Adaptability.

Has social media changed the way you do business?

It wasn’t too long ago when I refused to conduct business on messenger, text, LinkedIn message, Facebook, Instagram message, etc… only through email and phone call. Now, I conduct business on all listed platforms! Convenience is highly valued in our busy world.

“Convenience is highly valued in our busy world.” ~ Tommy McClure

Is there anything specific that inspires your passion?

Beautiful and delicious food. Culture. Much like fashion, food creation is also art.

I have heard conflicting stories about you and restaurants. In one, you vowed never to go back into the restaurant industry. In the other, you talk about owning your own restaurant/bistro someday.

Although I swore to never get back into the restaurant industry, maybe I should’ve added that only if I owned the restaurant. Culinary Arts is a passion of mine. My Instagram is all about Food, Fashion, and Fun. There are lots of images of the cuisines I’ve prepared for myself and for others. I find that creating in the kitchen is another way to communicate with people as it says so much about you as an individual and it immediately lets your guests feel the love you’ve put into their meals. Not to toot my own horn, but I have a skill of creating cuisines (even first attempts at a new recipe) with ease and having them turn out incredibly delicious. The next chapter in my life will include culinary arts.

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Do you have a favorite quote?

“There is nothing permanent except change.” ~ Heraclitus

“There is nothing permanent except change.” ~ Heraclitus

If you could offer a message that could reach everyone in the world, what would you say?

Be more empathetic to others. With more empathy, the world could get rid of hate and discrimination.

Tommy, thanks for your visit! I am wishing you a happy 2018! How can people get in touch with you? (websites, phone, email, whatever you want them to know.)

www.FashionWeekColumbus.org – info@fashionweekcolumbus.org

www.OneKreate.com – Thomas.mcclure@onekreate.com

Instagram: @officiallyTommyTime

Kindness Will Save the World – Samvel Yervinyan

Tags

Armenia, friends, inspiration, music, violin, Work

The concert was amazing, but that wasn’t why I decided to go backstage afterward. As the show ended, Yanni introduced his orchestra and I heard a name that drew my attention. I didn’t know the name itself, but I knew it was Armenian. My thoughts flew back to my ten-year-old search and a question left unanswered all that time.

There aren’t many great violinists in the world and you can count the great Armenian violinists with one hand. There I was, seeking one musician after a concert, hoping he might lead me to another. Backstage, I found Yanni himself.  I asked if he knew anything about my long lost friend, and the name Karo worked magic.  Minutes later, I first met Samvel Yervinyan. Samvel is the First Violin in Yanni’s orchestra and one of the best concert violinists in the world. This isn’t just my opinion or Yanni’s: here is a bit of a recent review.

“His virtuosity is unrivaled against any other violinist I’ve seen live. His agility and delicate approach to seventh-octave harmonics is spellbinding.”

When I asked if he knew Karo Airapetian and told him I was a friend, he became enthusiastic. He shared the painful news I had long suspected, that our mutual friend had passed years before. This introduction paved the way to a warm relationship that has endured since that night nine years ago. Now, I want to share that with you. Please make a little allowance for the translation into English. Samvel wrote me his responses in Russian, with his charming Armenian accent.

Hi Samvel, I’m so glad to have you here! I am absolutely impatient to ask you a question about the Storm. Whenever I listen to this masterpiece I am blown away. It’s wrath, and happiness, and the victory of unbridled nature!  What can you tell us about this piece?

Of course, this is a genius masterpiece from the cycle of The Seasons of the Year by Vivaldi. Centuries have passed since he wrote it, yet it remains modern.  The Storm is the third part of the concert Summer. The version that we play with Yanni begins with the phrase which is in the first part of the concert Summer. Instead of playing the third part in the original three quarters, we play in four. This was the idea of Yanni. I helped him as an instrumentalist. I think it turned out very well. Wherever we play it around the world, it gets huge applause.

When and how did you fall in love with music? Do you come from a musical family? How did your parents inspire you?

I owe many thanks to my parents. They are not musicians, but they love music. Our house has always been filled with good music. I still hear the voice of my maternal grandmother, who sang best of everybody. My mother sings beautifully too. She has impeccable intonation, crystal clear voice, and soul – without any musical education. I admire my parents for giving me a good upbringing and education.

Have you managed to pass your passion on to your children, Samvel?

I think so. To be honest with you, I am lucky with my marriage. My wife and I have known each other since we were 14. We studied together in the special music school in Yerevan named after Tchaikovsky. We have two sons. The senior goes to university and the youngest is in high school, both are excellent students. This is mostly due to their mother since I’m rarely at home.

Are there other instruments you considered growing up? Why did you choose violin?

Samvel with his first teacher Armen Minasian

My first instrument was a piano, I started playing it when I was 6 years old  (1972) and from the age of seven, I went to the violin class of Armen Minasyan, a brilliant violinist and teacher, whom I consider my mentor. He’s the best teacher in the world and I’m very lucky to have been able to study under him.

I can’t help but speak of my second teacher, whom I studied at the Conservatory and in graduate school. He was a great musician and teacher, a wonderful person, one of the best students of David Oistrakh, Professor Edward Dayan.

Tell us about your favorite violin and why it is your favorite. Is there a story behind it?

My favorite violin, the one I always play, is more than three hundred years old. Its maker, even its country of origin, is unknown. Some violin makers say it has a French origin. There are musicians who compare its sound with a human voice.

When I am asked for my favorite writer, movie or artist, I can’t find an answer. I cannot limit to one name the wealth of the world talents. I want to name several, at least. 

Now, I am asking you the same question: who is your favorite composer and what is your favorite composition? Feel free to list as many as you like.

And it’s hard for me as well to pick a favorite composer. There are a lot of them. My favorite concert for a violin is the Beethoven Violin Concerto.

Do you prefer violin solos or being a part of an orchestra?

I prefer to play solo.

Once during tough times for Armenia, in 1988, I spent some time in your hometown of Yerevan. I was impressed with the beauty of the city, culture and hospitality of the people.

When you compose, do you ever draw from your Armenian heritage and folk songs?

Of course, I rely on the heritage and culture of my people. I can tell you, in secret, I wrote my best works in Yerevan.

I promise you, Samvel, I’ll keep this a secret between you, me, and the World Wide Web.

When did you join Yanni and his renowned group?

Yanni and I began to collaborate in 2002. We make a very good team in all senses of the word.

 

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This is not a surprise – Yanni draws on amazing music from around the world.

What does the connection with the audience mean to you when you play?

I always get positive energy from the audience. I think that this is from the fact that I really love my listener…

How do you select something new to play?

I play what I like … I play what touches my soul.

What other violinists or musicians do you appreciate?

My favorite classic violinist is David Oistrakh.

Karo Airapetian – artist George Shiskin, 1995

My thoughts returned to the search that ended when I first met Samvel. Would you like to say anything about our mutual friend Karo Airapetian, who is no longer with us?

About Karo Airapetyan you can talk a lot … I will say a little. He was a genius violinist, musician and a great innovator in violin history. Karo was very kind and a good man. We had an idea to make a recording with our two violins. Regrettably, he left us too early. In my younger years, I learned a lot from his notes…

When I still lived in Kishinev, many interesting friends were coming to my house. Once, one of them brought a new person – Karo, who had been invited from Armenia by Moldavian State Philharmonic to play in the famous folk group Lautary. He was a frequent visitor for the five years he was in town.

He never separated with his violin and willingly played when requested. If I asked him to play, I did so very cautiously, like I was afraid that something precious can be spilled by chance and not much of it will be left for later.

Do you think that you and Yanni’s orchestra are helping to make the world a better place?

Of course, yes, as they say, beauty will save the world!

What is coming up on your calendar?

Concerts with Yanni in Saudi Arabia are planned at the end of November. At the same time I am writing two discs, one classic in which will be the works of Mozart, Sarasate, Bach, Gluck, and Paganini. The second project will feature a variety of music including my works.

What Concert Halls were lucky to embrace your music?

Yanni’s orchestra and I have played in America, Europe, the Middle East, Asia … There is a list on the website. http://www.yanni.com/tour

How do you get your day started, Samvel? What does it look like?

I start with a cup of coffee and a conversation with my parents over Skype.If I’m not at concerts, I exercise to keep myself in shape – I live!

Your Internet biography talks about trying to get better every day. How do you measure that?

“Samvel is driven to be the best in his profession, being more and more perfectionist every day.”

I think that every person should always improve in his profession and life in general, especially spiritually.

Dear Samvel, I want to thank you so very much for visiting my blog and answering my questions. I have saved one more I like to end with. Do you have any final thoughts to share?

I want to add that for me the most important human quality is kindness. I think that beauty and kindness will save the world!

Web page http://samvelyervinyan.com/home/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiFv7cICWRU

Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Ambassadors-Hidden-Moon-Samvel-Yervinyan/dp/B009EC9VQ4

 

 

What Willpower Won’t Power

Happy New Year!

This time of year, people set resolutions with good intentions, but their lofty goals often get abandoned.  Does it need to be the fate of our goals?

Today, I talk with my friend and my Life-Spark, LLC business partner, Jay Elkes. After a long career as a software developer, Jay has switched to thinking about systems that make life better. Recently, he blogged about one of his key strategies on his personal blog, and I’m excited to share his thinking with you.

Jay, your article focuses on a topic we are both interested in — achieving goals, which you’re taking it one more step to maintain the result.

That’s right, Janna. Anybody can set a goal.

Many people can achieve it. When it comes to lifestyle goals, the real challenge is maintaining the results.

About five years ago, I re-engineered my life to lose 35 pounds, and I’ve kept it off ever since. I did this over a period of six months without name-brand diet plans, medical supervision, or surgery. I didn’t understand what I had stumbled into at the time, but I recently recognized the underlying principle to my success.

Why don’t we, Jay, start with the moment you decided to take action? What was going through your mind?

In April, 2011 I wanted to lose some weight . I lost a couple pounds right away, but then I started coasting. Over the next six months I lost another six pounds. Any progress I made was quickly overwhelmed by moments of celebration.

By the end of October, I realized that at that rate it would take me years to get to my target. I decided to make it a formal goal, complete with measurable targets and a plan. I wrote out the plan in a Moleskine pocket notebook that I still have today.

Jay’s Plan from 2011

So what did you decide?

I set a specific target weight to achieve over a period of three months and outlined what I was going to do to achieve it. This was a classic SMART goal and I used every trick I know to make it happen.

SMART Goals

S –  Specific
M – Measureable
A – Action oriented
R – Realistic
T – Time bound

I have used SMART goals before and after, but this was one of the clearest examples I’ve seen. If you look carefully, you’ll see that I missed the target by a couple months.

Was that a problem in this case?

In this case, no. Nobody else was depending on my result and I was pleased with my progress. The real issue would come later. Anyone can set a goal, and a lot of people can achieve it. I knew from the start that I could reach my target weight, but the real goal was to maintain it long term.

You’re talking about a lifestyle goal. Correct?

Exactly. If you want to visit the Grand Canyon, you can do that, check the goal off as done, and pick another destination for your next trip. Reaching a target weight is a great feeling, but it’s just another data point on a graph of maintaining health. I waned to change my life to maintain that weight. Today, almost five years later, I wrote about my success and why I’ve succeeded this long.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What exactly do you mean by success?

When I checked my weight this morning, the scale reported 153.8 pounds. For my height of 5’9″, this maps to a body mass index of 22.7 — perfect according to even my fussy primary care doctor whom I see once a year for a checkup. Even better, I’ve maintained that weight since ending a diet that dropped 35 pounds in 2011-2012. What I realized this year is that back then, more by dumb luck than insight, is the master key to long term success.

Willpower won’t power long term success

I’ve known you long enough to see the result. If willpower wasn’t the answer, what did you do?

I began with exercise. mostly walking…

Yes! I remember, you shared this with me.  I also remember that I asked you “How did you make it, Jay?  And you said:

Walking  is a two-step process: you take a step with one foot, then a step with the other, then repeat five thousand times (for 10,000 steps) a day.

This took willpower at first, but after a few weeks it became habit and finally I enjoyed it. If I miss a day now, I regret it. I also know that one hour at a fast food restaurant destroys several hours of exercise.

Come on, Jay! It can’t be all exercise!  Can it?

Losing weight is 20% exercise and 80% diet. About half the diet effort is cutting out the stupid habits.  First, I cut from my meals (and my snacks) the items that were totally self-destructive. A burger, fries and coke can provide 1700 calories in a meal. Replace that with a grilled chicken sandwich, a small salad and water and your calorie count is at most 600. I used willpower to make good choices until good choices became a habit.

Then you recommend both diet and exercise?

Correct diet can help you lose weight, correct exercise will make you fit. Weight control and fitness are two separate but related goals. If you want both results, you need to do both.

You’ve already said that willpower doesn’t do the job. What’s the missing piece?
What I didn’t catch at the time was that over time I went from applying willpower to adopting healthy habits, and from there to craving them. Lots of walking became a habit, then a reward in itself.

Do you have any tips on the diet side?

Use your willpower to fight the biggest problem. For me, it was too many calories in liquid form. The most effective rule I had was don’t drink your calories. Today, I’d say make a habit of not drinking your calories.

So, what’s wrong with willpower?

When it comes to goals, willpower eventually loses to the power of won’t. Buddha said “In the confrontation between the rock and the stream the stream always wins, not because of strength but because of persistence.”

Willpower can’t last long enough to power persistence. It can power you long enough to reshape habits and habits are the tools of persistence. When you crave the walk and happily select the salad, you’ve won the game.

So you need both willpower and habits?

Think of it this way. Use willpower like tinder to start a fire. Use habits like firewood to keep it going long term.

Thank you Jay. Where can my readers can get more inspiration from you

I blog at  https://jayelkes.wordpress.com/ and tweet as @jayelkes. You can also look for me on LinkedIn. You can see my blog post on this topic here.

Make a New Year’s Resolution to change your habits and use your willpower to get the process started.

Hey, Jay!  Why won’t you show us  your trick with the belt?

O! This is my favorite!  In 2011 this is the belt I was wearing, and it felt uncomfortably tight! I’ll let the result speak for itself.

Be the stream. If you want help plotting the course of your stream, we can help.

Contact: http://www.life-spark.com
Twitter: @JannaYeshanova
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifesparkllc/

WHEN YOU WANT IT YOU DO IT!

Tags

Book, drama, goals, goalsetting, historical, inspiration, romance, Soviet Union

Once, back in Russia, I parked my car overnight near my house instead of parking it in the garage. The next morning, I was preparing to take my little daughter to the swimming pool when my next-door neighbor suddenly grabbed my attention. He was so agitated! He spoke very, very fast, pointing to the back of my vehicle. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, so I went to him and to my huge surprise, I realized that the back tires were gone. Neat, accurate rectangular red brick structures were supporting the back end of the car!

My first thought was to thank God that my Mom was not around to tell me that I should’ve parked in the garage, given the shaky economic conditions of my Soviet country, but my temporary psychological comfort was abruptly interrupted by her voice.

“Ha!” She had decided to visit us that shiny Saturday morning. This was, after all, the Soviet Union. Perhaps God was elsewhere.

My Mom’s voice proclaimed, “Janna, this is what happens when the car does not spend the night time in the garage,” but that was not the end of her thoughts. My Mom, who had endured World War II and knew that one needs to survive in any given circumstance, continued, “Janna, you can’t leave the car outside. You have to drive it in the garage… Now!

My helpful neighbor quickly installed the spare tire, but the fourth one… was still a problem…

“How can I do it now, Mom?” I asked, repeatedly counting the tires and realizing each time that there were only three. “How can I drive on three tires?” I asked facetiously.

“Janna! When you want it you do it!” was her reply.

My feelings bounced between anger and the desire to burst out laughing. Time has passed, but I still remember one thing: “Janna! When you want it you do it!”

***

This conversation took place in the days just before my country began to crumble. Life was lining up a generous supply of adversity and turnabouts.  My Mom’s words “Janna! When you want it you do it!” echoed in my memory when I needed support.  They helped me to cross the Atlantic with almost no money or help.

At that time, the Soviet government allowed emigrants to exchange only $126.00 from local currency. So I had a choice:  I could stay and keep what I had, or go…

Going wasn’t easy. A narrow window of opportunity had opened, but just barely. Bureaucracy tried to freeze the status quo with one hand and extort the last kopek from anyone who dared to leave with the other. Ethnic tensions, held in check for decades by Soviet power, found new voices and raised new threats. Not all neighbors were helping with tires. Some were stealing them. Some were trying to steal the country. Go. Definitely go. Tough choices are easy when you have no option. I took my $126.00, my mother and my daughter and dashed for the border.

Two weeks after arrival to the USA. My Mom, may daughter and me

The full story is told in my book Love Is Never Past Tense.  I never thought about writing a book.  I thought about writing a letter to my future grandkids, so they would know their background, appreciate what they have and know how they got it.  I started that letter, but it never stopped.  The story kept running and running out of my quill.  Then I realized that I could wrap this story into an inspirational second chance romance, so I did that!

Doubts crept in. Who would read all this material I produced?

A thought about publishing a book knocked on the door… Was this thought knocking on my door? I believed it, and then I did not. Who will read it? – was the next thought.  Doubt was trying to steal my tires, but in my imagination Mom’s voice repeated “Janna! When you want it you do it!”

Another pity party showed up as I flew home after a seminar. On my lap, I had a proof copy of the book. I was scanning the lines, double checking for mistakes and possible flaws. The thought ‘who will read it’ was following me even in the sky. Doubt was sharing my seat, but opportunity was in the seat next to me.

Opportunity can show up anywhere

The man in that seat wondered what I was reading. I briefly shared the story and he asked to see the manuscript. He started reading as we took off from Philadelphia and didn’t stop until we landed in Chicago.

Alex was a PhD graduate from Yale. As we parted he handed me his business card and asked me to let him know when the book would be published. He said he wanted to buy it. “No, no, no!” I protested! “I’ll send it to you!”  I was so happy that someone wanted to read it. “A man?!  Reading a love story?!” was in my head.  “Please… No need to buy it!  I’ll send it to you!” I heard my voice say.

Months later, I sent him the promised copy. After reading it, he called me and said that he could picture a great movie based on the book. A movie? I hadn’t imagined! The story for my future grandchildren was gaining traction.

Alex took on the role of my excited neighbor mounting the spare tire and eight months later the Jewish Federation of Omaha Nebraska invited me to present Love Is Never Past Tense. They flew me to Omaha, offered me a great hotel and placed an article with my picture and my biography on the front page of their newspaper! They bought, as far as I remember, two hundred books.

 In Omaha NE

Three tires on. “Janna! When you want it you do it!” Life doesn’t stop, it keeps going and going. A new idea evolves in my head and keeps disturbing my world. I imagine a book trailer would be a great reward for all my trouble.  I dial the first film maker my internet search provides and run into a guy who won an Emmy.  He makes my book trailer and more than that – he becomes a friend.

My book trailer catches the eye of a screenplay writer who decides to read the book. He falls in love with Love Is Never Past Tense and writes a screenplay. The movie Alex imagined has started materializing.

We all know that opportunity comes from within. First, you need to decide. Then, everything falls into place. Not immediately, but it does! Did someone say that thoughts are materializing? They do!

Now I am looking for a new adventure. Is it a new adventure or is it a sequel of the same one?  Is this the adventure that we call life? Is it really the case that when you want it you do it?

Do it, even when a whole set of tires is not available!

========================================================================

This article was first published for a community of 500.000 filmmakers as :

https://www.stage32.com/blog/When-You-Want-It-You-Do-It

DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

Tags

Family, love, Management, Time, Values, Work

 

(A parable translated from Russian–origin unknown)

One legend tells of how a very poor woman with a baby in her arms was walking by the roadside pub, when she heard a voice: “Come and take whatever you wish, but do not forget about the most important thing. Remember only this: after you get out, the door will slam shut forever.  For now, use the chance, but do not forget about the most important thing!” The woman entered the pub and saw tables full of gold and jewels. Struck by the view of Undeniable Wealth, she put the child on the floor and eagerly began to fill her apron with coins and precious stones.

She voice warned her: “You don’t have much time left!” Exhausted and panting, she loaded herself up until no room was available. At the last moment, the woman ran out of the pub with gold, jewelry and precious stones. The door slammed!!!!!!!!! Only then she thought of her child, who was left inside, but the door was closed forever. The same thing sometimes happens to us. We rarely live in this world longer than a hundred years, and often the inner voice tells us not to forget about the most important thing. And most important things are the spiritual values, life and family.

Money, profit, wealth and material pleasures sometimes veil our eyes, and the most important thing remains on the other side.

When the door is closed, our soul will not need carnal wealth….

DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

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Goal Setting, Life-Spark, LLC, Upper Arlington, Worshop

Hey, Guys!  For those who are Upper Arlington/ Columbus area residents or those who are committed enough to drive a long way for a great two hour workshop on Goal Setting, check out the information below:

Get What You Want!

Janna Yeshanova, M.A., M.Ed., ACC

A vision of your future is a fundamental force that drives your life. Every hurdle and successful step along the way, large or small, moves you further along the path to what you want to accomplish. Explore the characteristics of written goals and investigate an analysis process that provides you with tools to develop action-oriented strategies. Learn to productively problem solve by removing barriers, concentrating on essentials and staying on track. Janna is a certified motivational coach (www.life-spark.com) with plenty of tips to focus your efforts for maximum effect and help you develop a game plan to achieve your vision. See the life you want and go for it!

A public service of UA Lifelong Learning and Life-Spark, LLC

https://parks.uaoh.net/wbwsc/webtrac.wsc/wbsearch.html?wbsi=si&xxsearch=y&xxActivitynumber=441111

441111 A             6:30-8:30 pm       Tu                               1/26

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Lower Level Meeting Rm

Deb mosely LifeLong Learning Program Coordinator| Parks & Recreation Department The City of Upper Arlington 3600 Tremont Road, Upper Arlington, OH 43221  e:  dmosely@uaoh.net | o:  614.583.5331

 

 

 

 

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean — tame?”

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean — tame?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world….”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The Virtue of a Jump Start

Olympic events go to great pains to make sure nobody jumps the gun. While we expect this in competitive sports, it makes no sense to think that way about our own goals. While it is tempting to set goals for the new year, to create a clean slate as the year starts, doesn’t it make more sense to jump the gun and get a head start on your goals? Even if you don’t want to start right away, it’s still a good time to do some advance planning.

When it comes to developing goals, there are a few basics worth remembering:

Think big. If you shoot for the stars but fall short and hit the Moon, you’re still on the Moon.

Put your goal in writing. Clear written goals help us commit and measure progress.

Find an accountability partner and/or mentor. Talk about your goals and get support from anyone you can.

If you really want to give 2016 a jump start, try bringing in a coach. I’m willing to make that easy for you!

Dump the baggage from your past! Open a door to your future!

Sign up here for your free 30 minute Resolution Jump Start Coaching Session, one-on-one with Janna Yeshanova, MA, MEd, ACC , the author of Love Is Never Past Tense

In this powerful session, you will:

• Build a map of what’s working and what you need to work on
• Develop an increased awareness of what’s causing your challenges
• Create a next step action plan for pursuing your biggest goal now
• Leave with a renewed sense of energy for pursuing your goals