With the month of March comes the start of Spring. Moldovans and Romanians celebrate a widely observed tradition called Martisor (pronounced Martishor – little March). The tales about Martisor are gathered and surely twisted when passed from one person to another, and generation to the next. My Mom told me this version of the fairy tale when I was around seven.
The symbol of Martisor is a ribbon which has the same name as the event. People make them from red and white threads and wear them on their lapel starting March 1st. At that time, you had to make your own, and my Mom showed me how to make it. You make little brushes by twisting red and white threads and tie them together on the top and put lots of love into what you are creating. Finally, under my Mom’s supervision I managed to bring life to my first Martisor.
I went to school with white and red little brushes on the lapel of my school uniform and felt it was giving love to everyone around. My Mom also said that at the end of March I would need to to put it on a branch of one of the cherry trees in our garden. This act was supposed to assure a good crop of cherries.
I couldn’t wait for the end of the month to hang the ribbon on the tree. Then, I couldn’t wait to see how the trees were generously covered with cherries — and I knew why!
Today, my cousin in Romania sent me a picture of a Martisor, and I recalled everything: the fairy tale, my mom’s story, the Martishor on my school uniform and our cherry garden full of cherries because of the Martisor that I hung on a branch of a tree nce each year at the end of March!
Recently, I was listening to a webinar at Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation. Impressed by the content and presentation, I went to the presenter’s website and realized that he offered a full course. I was lacking a couple of CCEUs to support my International Coach Federation certification so I signed up for a piece of it.
When my two planned hours were taken, I did not want to leave the course! I thought:” Let me get through the first module – it’s pretty interesting!”. So I did. Soon it was over – then what’s next? I could have said “Thank you,” taken my certificate and left. How I found myself in the second module, and then the third, is now hard to say. I am an experienced coach, I had met my requirements, yet I was enjoying every moment.
I was talking to James later, shedding at him lots of compliments and questions.
A couple of days ago I realized that he is repeating the course on June 30 and offered him a chance to visit my blog.
James Garrett
So, today we have James Garrett who was glad to share his insights on human psychology. For over a decade, James has been studying and teaching the psychology of success, and unpacking the brain science behind what makes human beings thrive. As an entrepreneur, scientist, trainer, and coach, he is passionate about turning academic knowledge about the human brain into practical tools that anyone can use to change their life—and the world.
Here is my discussion with him:
Hi James! Can you please share your personal growth path? How did you get in this trouble? 🙂
James and his brother Brennon at graduation
I fell in love with Psychology at Columbia University, but was always fascinated by human behavior — why we do what we do. The deeper and more personal story, though, is that I struggled with OCD growing up and throughout my life. So I was deeply interested in part because I thought there was something “wrong” with my brain. This is partly why I fell in love with neuroplasticity, because it is the science of human change. It gave me hope.
I thought there was something “wrong” with my brain.
In your course you have three sections. Tell us about them.
That’s right, Janna. The course takes hundreds of the very best books on the science of habits, happiness, and productivity, and makes it easy to digest in videos and exercises. In a six week period, you’ll cover all the most cutting edge neuroscience and behavioral science, but in a format that’s clear, easy to apply, and feels relevant to your life. In a sense, I did all the reading so hopefully you won’t have to.
I did all the reading so hopefully you won’t have to.
The happiness portion of the course is an exploration of the science of positive psychology and the science of flourishing. This is where you’ll start to understand what role mindfulness plays in your wellness, how positive emotions can be utilized for creativity, and how to tap into flow states.
The happiness portion of the course is an exploration of the science of positive psychology.
Finally, the productivity portion of the course helps you design your work life (and personal life) to be distraction-proof. We’re swimming in a sea of distractions and the best way to increase your ability to stay focused is to design for focus.
The productivity portion of the course helps you design your work life.
Is your course certified for Continuing Education?
About a third of each group who takes the course is doing it purely for personal growth reasons.
I’m currently working on getting the courses certified for other types of professional groups (e.g., health care workers, teachers, etc.). Sometimes (but not always) professional development organizations will honor the continuing education credits from another certifying body like ICF. So if you take the course, it’s worth getting the certificate at the end and asking your institution if it will accept the continuing education credits.
What should someone who goes through your course expect?
The course has a live portion and a pre-recorded portion. There are 6 live sessions and 12 pre-recorded sessions. For example, the first live session is on habits. So in order to prepare for that live session, each student will watch the first and second pre-recorded sessions of the Habits by Design course and then come ready with questions about how they can deepen their learning, how to overcome an obstacle they’re facing, or how to help a client with a problem they’re having getting their exercise routine to stick.
The live sessions are designed to be purely interactive and are an opportunity to discuss how to apply what the students are learning from the pre-recorded sessions in their real lives or the lives of their clients.
The live sessions are designed to be purely interactive.
The last piece of the course is that if you are doing the course for continuing education credits, ICF requires you to fill out a brief 3-question reflection sheet for each of the pre-recorded sessions. If you’re not going it for CCE credits, that piece is optional.
May I please, pretty please, have a discount to offer my readers?
Absolutely! I am happy to offer them a discount. This link will give your readers $100 off.
Thank you, James! That’s very generous! And how has COVID-19 affected how you are doing business?
Most of my business was online, even before COVID-19 hit, so it hasn’t affected my business as much as I thought it might. Two resorts that I do weekly presentations at temporarily closed down, so some parts of my business have slowed. But overall I feel really grateful because my courses have actually grown over the past few months — possibly because people have a little more time to catch up on their CCEs or do online E-learning while they’re quarantining at home.
Any specific advice for someone who is reading this article?
The advice I would give you is to take the neuroplasticity science seriously. You have more dormant potential than you can possibly imagine — just waiting to be accessed. You can learn how to unlock the power of your brain, but it takes a bit of training and understanding to help it work better.
Take the neuroplasticity science seriously.
I sometimes think of it like an airplane. When we board a plane, we all turn right and go to our seats, right? Imagine turning left and going to sit in the cockpit. What do you see in front of you? Dials, levers, gauges, buttons — things that don’t make much sense, unless you’re a trained pilot. The only difference between you and a pilot is that the pilot has been trained for how to operate the machine.
And what, James, is the best part of your job?
I love watching people transform as they understand more about how their brain works and how to get it to work better. It inspires me to watch people master the skill set of habits and then apply that to forming better exercise habits, better eating habits, better sleeping habits, better meditation habits, better empathy and listening habits. As I watch their relationships with themselves and their loved ones improve, this is why I do what I do.
I love watching people transform.
Confidence soaring!
I also love to watch people’s confidence soar as they feel like they’re not at the mercy of their emotions or negative thought patterns. People genuinely start to figure out how to manage their minds in a way that is empowering and creates an upward spiral of positive change in their lives. It’s incredible to watch!
Do you still do coaching yourself?
Yes, Janna! I do still do coaching myself, and am actively accepting clients at this time.
Anything personal you want to share?
The best part of my life is definitely my 6-year old Sophia and my 4-month old Aeon!
Left: James and Aeon. Right: James, his wife Shaylyn, Aeon and Sophia.
What I’ve been trying to do through something called the Deep Change Project is really live the science in my own personal life. Since my passion is getting science out of the labs and into people’s lives, I knew I wanted to get out from behind the science and experiment with applying it in various areas of my life. In a sense, I’m doing a big experiment on myself to see how much I can change. This year, I’m focusing on overcoming fear.
Deep Change Project
Thank you, James, for your visit! Where can people can find more information on your training?
They can find all the information on my website. Or if they just want to go straight to the information about the courses, they can go here.
It was open mic night at the Comedy Club, and nothing was working for the aspiring comedian. He picked up the audience’s disapproval which made him even more nervous. At one point, his gesture contradicted his story, and the audience laughed at the incongruity. As he came off the stage, the manager said “I’m sorry”.
The comic responded “Sorry? Didn’t you hear them? I got a laugh!”
Sometimes, success comes in small doses. As an independent author looking to find a buyer to the screenplay for my novel Love Is Never Past Tense, I find myself in interesting and unexpected places.
On the evening of July 26, over 100 filmmakers converged on the Gateway Film Center for the kickoff to the local 48 Hour Film Project. My team, led by TJ Cooley and Lewis Gordon was one of dozens of film crews that had signed up for this two-day event. At 7.00 PM we were drawing our assignments. By 7.30 PM we were racing out the door. We were one of 48 teams that showed up two days later with a completed film.
My friend Lewis Gordon is an officer of MOFA (Mid-Ohio Film Makers Association). He was part of the writing team for my screenplay, so I encouraged him to enter the contest. I figured that at a minimum it would develop connections to movie people that might help. He agreed if I stepped in as Executive Producer.
The 48 Hour Film Project is a grueling (yet fun) race to write, shoot and deliver a seven-minute film in two days. Teams enter local contests all over the world, drawn in by the line ” What could go wrong?”
Problem one: penciling me in as Executive Producer… What does EP do anyway? High on the list of duties is finding a Director to take on the project, and I had already done that. Lewis sweetened the offer by suggesting that my book be included in the film. With that, we struck a deal.
Every team was given the requirements used to prevent getting a head start.
Required character – Jordan or Jayla Tillerman, detective.
Required prop – a sheet or roll of paper towel.
Required line – “How did you do that?”
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
Each team drew genre assignments from two lists. Our team drew the genres “Family Film” and “Musical” – we could pick either or combine them. Lewis and his writing/directing/producing partner TJ Cooley spent a sleepless night putting together a screenplay. By 7.00 AM, cast and crew showed up ready to work. That’s when I discovered…
Problem two: I had been written into the script! Do EPs do that? Apparently, sometimes they do!
The work on our Family Film began in earnest. If Family Film and Musical bring up an image of The Sound of Music for you, scratch that and think the Sopranos. Yes, we made a gangster family film!
Problem three: In mid-afternoon, with the clock ticking, a camera failed. Rehearsals and rework went on while another camera was shuttled across town. By early evening, filming was done and the focus shifted elsewhere for editing and production.
Problem four: About 7.00 PM Sunday, I saw a Facebook post of our “delivery” car stopped in traffic. In the end, the car and the film made it to the delivery point on time, along with 47 other contestants. Two weeks later, all of them, including our masterpiece A Kill of Her Own got premier screenings at the theater where the madness began.
Problem five: Although we filmed the book in a couple different places, the angles were
After the Screening at Gateway Film Center, August 10 2019
picked to move the action along — the start of my book’s film career ended up on the virtual cutting room floor. You can see the result of our work on YouTube. You won’t want to miss the last few seconds of the film.
A Kill of Her Own is now at the mercy of the judges. If it wins, it goes to the next level of competition and could help us get attention for the Love Is Never Past Tense screenplay. Sometimes success comes in small doses.
HOW DID IT HAPPEN THAT WE CELEBRATE TWO VICTORY DAYS?
We celebrated May 9 for as long as I can remember! May 9 was the end of World War II. May 9 of 1945 became a day destined to be commemorated through generations!
Several years ago, I visited Czech Republic and was surprised to be a part of the parade devoted to the celebration of Victory Day – on May 8! “What happened?” I thought. Why did they switch the date? I wanted to scream: People! I know! It’s not today! It’s tomorrow… Wait when May 9 comes! But nobody could hear my scream: it was in my head!
Victory Day, in America VE Day, celebrates the triumph of the Allies over the Nazis in 1945. In western countries. Including Germany with Nazism defeated, official events are celebrated on May 8. Ukraine and Baltic countries do the same. Russia, many other former Soviet States and now Israel celebrate on May 9. The two different dates are an accident of history showing that even allies don’t always agree. On the night of May 7, 1945, Hitler’s Germany officially acknowledged its defeat, and its Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, had been dead for a week. On May 7, 1945 at 02.40 AM Central European time in French Reims, the surrender of Germany was signed. On behalf of Germany, the document was signed by General Alfred Jodl. Representatives of the anti-Hitler coalition allies — the American General Bedell Smith and the Soviet Major General Ivan Susloparov — accepted the surrender.
In Europe and then in the United States, there began a spontaneous celebration and universal rejoicing. Especially stormy celebrations were in London, and then in New York — millions of jubilant people gathered on the streets. However, the leader of the USSR, Joseph Stalin, decided the document signed at Reims did not satisfy him as sufficiently reflecting the role of the Red Army in the victory over Nazism.
Stalin demanded the signing of a new act, and by his order Marshal of the Victory Georgy Zhukov accepted in Berlin a general surrender of representatives of all the arms of the defeated Germany. From Germany, the Berlin Act of Surrender was signed by Field-Marshal Wilhelm Keitel, as well as the leadership of the Luftwaffe (German Air Force) and the German Navy. Also, out of respect for Stalin, the document was signed by representatives of the allies – the United States, Great Britain and France. The Berlin Act of Surrender was signed on the night of May 8–9, at 00.43 Moscow Time, that is, in fact, it began in Moscow on May 9. Note that in Europe it was at 23.43 CET, that is, there it was May 8.
For me, World War II is a collection of horrible/amazing stories shared by my Mom. She experienced the war first hand, as I shared in a previous article. She celebrated the end of the war on May 9. I still have and use a small metal bowl she used during the war.
A few months after my family and I came to the US, I was driving through a small Ohio town. Suddenly, on a nearby driveway, I saw a sign “Fresh Honey!“ I translated it to my Mom, and she said “I want it!” I made a turn into the driveway and my Mom and I were greeted by a tall man, my Mom’s age.
My Mom knew Russian, Romanian, and French, but English at that time was so far away from her ear! My Mom asked me to translate for her.
Considering the age of this man she decided to ask him if he participated in the WWII – Russia and America were allies in that horrific period! I translated. He confirmed. The next thing I saw they were hugging each other. The interpreter was not needed anymore: both of them had tears. The man invited us in the house and started showing his pictures from THAT very time… The friendship and peace were established in one moment!
I am reposting my blog article from two years ago… This Article is devoted to my Mom. She is not here anymore, but she is and will be with me always!
My Mom (in a white dress) with her cousins just before the war.
Senior Lieutenant Malka-Galina Lerner, 1944
Today, May 9, I celebrate my Mom’s second birthday. I call this day her second birthday, as she did, because her actual birthday was on another day years earlier. She chose this second birthday herself because it represented a huge change in her life and the lives of everyone around her. It wasn’t that this was a beautiful spring day, or that the lilacs were in full bloom. May 9th is the day Russia marks as the end of World War II in Europe.
On 22 June 1941, the Germans broke their agreement and invaded the Soviet Union in ‘Operation Barbarossa’. It was a Sunday. The day before in Soviet schools there were graduation parties. When bands stopped playing, yesterday’s classmates, by tradition, went to meet the dawn. Young Muscovites headed to…
Recently, I presented training at the International Coach Federation Columbus Charter Chapter. Interactive and dynamic training is always a blast! It was a reminder of how we should listen to invite better communication in our lives.
Keep in mind LISTENING is a skill – not an inherent ability. Good listening means fewer family divorces, better relationships with coworkers, clients, friends, neighbors and everybody around us.
At the end of our session I shared a poem of Leo Buscaglia that really impressed me. I decided to share it with you here. I hope you like it too.
When I ask you to listen to me, and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business
of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn –
My Mom (in a white dress) with her cousins just before the war.
Senior Lieutenant Malka-Galina Lerner, 1944
Today, May 9, I celebrate my Mom’s second birthday. I call this day her second birthday, as she did, because her actual birthday was on another day years earlier. She chose this second birthday herself because it represented a huge change in her life and the lives of everyone around her. It wasn’t that this was a beautiful spring day, or that the lilacs were in full bloom. May 9th is the day Russia marks as the end of World War II in Europe.
On 22 June 1941, the Germans broke their agreement and invaded the Soviet Union in ‘Operation Barbarossa’. It was a Sunday. The day before in Soviet schools there were graduation parties. When bands stopped playing, yesterday’s classmates, by tradition, went to meet the dawn. Young Muscovites headed to the Red Square, those in the Crimea – went to the seashore, in Kiev – to the banks of the River Dnieper, and in Leningrad to the River Neiva, to greet the white night. That far north, the June Sun never sets completely.
An unidentified witness described what happened next. “That day the dawn began in Moscow at 3:45 AM, but at the country’s border the engines of German tanks were already rattling and fascists’ airplanes were already in the air to bomb major Soviet cities. They had already set their course and 15 minutes after the dawn they opened their bomb bay doors, and bombs showered down on the cities and the Great Fatherland War began!”
Drawn suddenly into the War, the Soviet Union mobilized its military, activated its weapons industry, and called out to ordinary citizens to do what was necessary to stop an existential threat. Millions were called into service and many more volunteered. My Mom joined the army.
When the Soviet Army retreated from the German advance in the winter of 1941, the Nazis took all the food for their Army from the people they were invading. Only those who could not move away remained in their homes. Lots of abandoned houses were burned and a few rare people stayed home with the hope they could survive.
Once, my Mom shared one story that gave me a glimpse of that part of the war. She had not eaten in two days and had no shelter, so she knocked on the door of one such house. A woman with a baby in her arms opened the door and invited my Mom in to warm up. My Mom felt so happy to have the warmth of the house around her, and the cheerful smell of potatoes frying on a tiny stove made her head spin. Here was a family – someone else’s family but a family nonetheless.
Potatoes frying on a tiny stove made her head spin
The woman went into another part of the house with her child, closing the door after her. Mom stood there several minutes, trying to absorb all the warmth, but the potatoes frying in the skillet were screaming her name. Mom could have taken a piece – no one was looking – but she opened the outside door and left, knowing those inside would need the food. Mom’s part in the War was just starting.
1973 reunion of women – WWII participants – in Stalingrad (now Volgograd) near MOTHERLAND CALLS statue. My Mom is in the second row on the left.
She was wounded near Stalingrad, the bloodiest battle in the history of humankind. Her left arm was hanging on the tissue and a bomb, that fell close to her created a deep funnel, pulling out soil and stones and throwing it on my Mom’s head. Others, who were near her, did not survive.
In another story, she shared how she was dragging a wounded soldier from the field where many were shot from airplanes, and a German airplane was flying in circles above her head. He flew away for a short while and then, returned. getting closer to the ground. Then, he was going up circling and circling above her hand and she was holding her arm above her head trying to hide behind her arm. The pilot let her live.
Youth is a very bright time in our lives, but my Mom’s youth synchronized with four years of blood and destruction. She talked about this time her whole life. She was a hero, my Mom — carrying wounded soldiers from the battlefields to help them to extend their lives.
42 relatives on her side were killed by Nazis
If she had not gone to the war, who knows if Mom would have survived. She told me that 42 relatives on her side were killed by Nazis during the holocaust. She knew they were buried somewhere in the area they had lived. Suddenly, on October 1, 2015, I found out watching 60 Minutes that a Catholic priest from France had gone to Ukraine, Poland and Moldova and discovered the mass graves where they were buried. My Mom survived, but I lost an opportunity to have many cousins and uncles and aunts if these guys hadn’t been killed.
My Mom survived, and here I am and here is my daughter and my grandkids. Needless to say that I dragged all of them to the USA, the safest place that one could imagine. Picture. Needless to say, this gave my Mom a chance to see her descendants.
May 9, 2007
Mom understood how lucky she had been to survive – twenty million fellow Russians had not been so lucky. By the time the Germans signed the surrender, it was May 9, 1945. In Russia that became a national holiday. It was a beautiful day — the lilacs were in bloom and Mom felt reborn. From that day forward, she adopted May 9 as her second birthday.
This May 9th I am putting flowers on her tombstone once again, but she is always alive – for me!
My Mom (in a white dress) with her cousins just before the war. 
Senior Lieutenant Malka-Galina Lerner, 1944 
Janna Yeshanova 